


Call Me Roxas

by Larkawolfgirl



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Identity Issues, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 17:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11833620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl
Summary: No one knew that Sora was never quite as bright as he appeared. He had his own troubles just like everyone. The thing was that by the time cracks appeared, his persona was so in-place that no one bothered to even listen to him.





	Call Me Roxas

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [If Happy Ever After Did Exist](https://archiveofourown.org/works/507777) by [winnerstick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/winnerstick/pseuds/winnerstick). 



> This was my first time ever writing an actual au (non-canon divergence kind), so I hope it passes. I'm not fully satisfied with this, but it was a spur of the moment idea anyway. This was inspired by winnerstick's idea, but I couldn't help thinking Sora becoming Roxas made more sense because of canon.

Sora’s prominent quality was his bright personality. It was nearly impossible for anyone to hate a guy who lit up a room the way he did. But no one knew that Sora was never quite as bright as he appeared. He had his own troubles just like everyone, he just happened to push his own problems aside for the sake of others’. It was more important to him to turn someone else’s frown upside down than dampen anyone’s mood with his true feelings. Maybe it wasn’t exactly healthy, but this was just the sort of person he was.

The thing was that by the time cracks appeared, his persona was so in-place that no one bothered to even listen to him. Not his mother when she told him they were moving away. Not his best friends Riku or Kairi when they assured him they’d keep in touch and he’d make new friends in no time. Not even his pen pal Namine who acknowledged his problems but told him they were nothing compared to her own.

A forced smile sat on his face all the way to his new home. But as soon as the car parked, it fell completely. He was tired of forcing himself to be happy all the time. It was a new beginning, and no one knew him here.

When his mother fell asleep that night, he snuck out to buy hair dye and what new clothes he could afford. Looking at himself in the mirror the next morning, he barely recognized himself through the blonde dye and punk style clothing. He reached a hand out to his reflection. “Nice to meet you, new me. What should we call you?”

His mother freaked out when he came down for breakfast. “What did you do to your hair?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “No big deal. It’ll wash out eventually.”

Her face scrunched at his apathetic tone. “What’s gotten into you, Sora?”

“Call me Roxas.”

“What?”

“I’m Roxas now.”

His mother pressed her face into her hands. “Your teenage rebellion’s started, hasn’t it? You were always such a good boy, I thought you’d just skip it.”

“Whatever.” Roxas shrugged his mother’s concern away. It felt surprisingly good.

The longer he spent as Roxas, the more he _became_ him. He no longer had to remind himself not to force a smile, he just didn’t smile. He no longer striked up random conversation with strangers to lighten the atmosphere. It was freeing to express his emotions openly, but he wasn’t exactly happier from it. Riku and Kairi barely talked to him anymore. They didn’t know how to handle Roxas like they did Sora. Roxas wasn’t good at making friends, which left him with only two close ones now. Axel and Xion. They were basically Roxas’ versions of Riku and Kairi. They did know how to handle him and even comfort him through his troubles.

Axel wasn’t exactly the best influence, with his cigarettes and booze, but Xion balanced that out. She made sure they didn’t play hooky or fall into some river when they were drunk.

Eventually, his mother gave up on reverting him and Riku and Kairi stopped talking to him altogether. Soon, Roxas forgot he ever had been Sora at all.

Him and Axel started dating, and they made plans to move out to Detroit to work on cars after graduation. His mother was disappointed when he told her.

“But Sora always wanted to become a teacher.”

“Who are you talking about?” Roxas asked confused.

His mother put a hand to her mouth. “You need to stop doing this. I’ve let you do as you like, but honestly. You’re not another person. You’ll always be _Sora_.”

A stab of pain jolted through Roxas’ head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, voice strained. “Who is Sora?”

His mother stood bolt upright. “You. I’m talking about you.”

“But I’m _Roxas_.” He emphasized his name as if she were stupid.

“No, you aren’t.”

“No, I’m—” His headache intensified, and he brought a hand up in a vain attempt to dull it.

His mother turned away angrily. “I would not stand for my son to do something stupid like moving away with some boy he barely knows, but I guess you, _Roxas_ ,” she spoke his name coldly, “aren’t my son, so I guess you can do whatever you want.”

She left Roxas standing there in pain and confusion.

“Hey,” Roxas asked through a bite of lunch lady surprise, “do you know anyone named Sora?”

“I don’t think so,” Axel said, giving his own surprise a disgusted once over before shoving it aside. “Why?”

“My mom was acting super weird last night. She started calling me Sora and saying I wasn’t her son.”

“Woah, seriously? That’s harsh.” Axel leaned back in his chair. “Think she had some other kid and never tell you about it?”

“I don’t know. That’s not something my mom would do.”

“And telling you you aren’t her kid is?”

“Good point.” Roxas shoved his own tray of food aside.

Axel reached across the table to take his hand. “Don’t worry too much about it, alright? I’m sure it was just a mood or something. And if it wasn’t, the worst she could do is kick you out, and if that happens I’ve got your back, alright?”

Roxas gave him a thankful look. “Yeah, thanks.”

His mother practically ignored him after that. Each time she said his name, it was with a chilly bite. Two weeks later, Roxas got an email from Riku. It took a minute for the name to register. Right, one of his friends from before moving. But everything from before was a blur, and when Roxas tried to remember, all he got was a headache. Giving up he opened the email.

_Sora,_

_I’m not going to bother apologizing for letting things end the way they did. I know you had things to deal with, I should have always known you had things to deal with. It’s just that I never saw you like that. You seemed like this invulnerable person. You were always so cheerful, like nothing could touch your happiness. It was such a shock when you finally let go. After you left, it was like you weren’t even the same person anymore. I should have tried harder to connect with you, but I just didn’t know how. It was easier to let you go. I probably wouldn’t have even found the courage to write you if it weren’t for your mom. I don’t have the right to say this, but you need to come back, Sora. This isn’t healthy. We get you’re human. You don’t have to be this ‘Roxas’ just to let yourself go. You can be sad and angry, okay? You can close yourself off, but don’t lose yourself just to do so. Again, I’m sorry for not being there for you like I should have, but I’m here now if you want._

_Always your friend,_

_Riku_

Roxas slumped in his computer chair. His head felt like it was splitting open as jumbled memories came to the surface. Times spent with Riku and Kairi, Sora’s loose easiness, the frustration of dealing with everything in silence.

He was tired.

The next morning, his mother hurried around the kitchen to finish the last of his requested homemade lunch. “I’m going to be home late tonight.”

“Mom,” he started hesitantly.

“Yes, Roxas?”

“I’m ready to be Sora again.”

She dropped the knife she was using to spread peanut butter on some bread. “Oh!” She looked close to tears as she rushed over to hug him. “I’ve missed my little boy.”

He gave a light chuckle. “Sorry I put you through that.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine sweetie. All teens go through it.”

She must think he had just been being difficult, but Sora knew it had been more than that. He hadn’t remembered being Sora. It was actually frightening to think about.

“I need to tell you something,” Sora said to Axel on their way to class.

“Shoot.”

“My name isn’t Roxas.”

Axel looked confused but shrugged his shoulders. “Uh okay.”

“ _I’m_ Sora,” Sora elaborated.

“What?” Axel’s surprise was comical, and Sora actually laughed at his expense.

“Yeah. No secret kid, sorry.”

“So, you were just shittin’ with me earlier?”

“No, that’s the other thing I wanted to tell you. It’s complicated…”

Axel listened to his story in silence, but when he got to the conclusion his hand found Sora’s. “I don’t care if you’re Roxas or Sora, you know that, right?”

Sora smiled. “Have I told you I love you?”

Axel touched his chest playfully. “Ouch. Would you forget something like that?”

Sora laughed, then said in a mock serious tone, “Axel, I love you.”

Smirking, Axel leaned in to kiss him right there in the hallway. “I love you, too, _Sora_.”

Hearing him say his real name sent shivers through him. “Yeah, definitely call me that from now on.”

 


End file.
